Albuquerque Beer Week Day 5

No Beer Week for me yesterday.

Fortunately, I have a stockpile of beer from my Arizona trip, from my weekly visits to Jubilation, and from just generally being a crackhead with a need when it comes to beer. I get that itch just driving by certain places. I fed my habit by cracking an Alaskan Brewing Winter Ale and Left Hand Good Juju, both of which I had for the first time. I don't care if it's spring, that Winter was dope. The spruce tips added to the brew created a sweet berry taste with a piney stickiness that felt great in my mouth, no George Takei, you feel me? The Good Juju is laced with ginger and the smell and taste are dominated by it, though it's not a bad thing. I could sip one occasionally but wouldn't go out of my way for this. This beer's kinda like that girl you got in your contacts but don't call until you've been rejected by a few others first.

Anyways, I would've liked to hear some bluegrass at Marble Brewery yesterday, but asi es la vida.

On to today, Day 5 in this glorious week of excuses to drink more beer. Here's what's poppin:

Marble Brewery Beer and Cheese Pairing (Time: 4 to 7PM)- I've already posted about this a few days ago so I'll let you bums scroll down a few and do some heavy lifting. But this should be awite. I mean, I'd prefer some barbecue or some burgers or tacos or some shit a little more filling, but I've never objected to cheese. I guess my big concern with this event is what type of herbs such an event might attract. I never been to a wine and cheese party and there's a reason why: I'd probably have to choke out one dude for describing why my view on dealing with all the bums that line Central (get them the eff outta here) is Hobbesian or Lockesian or whatever the fuck, then I'd have to smack some other dude for insisting that there really isn't a classic American novel, some other mamaguevo would just be looking at me contemptuously with his waxed moustache and Paul Bunyan outfit and then I'd just have to hope a stray bullet hit me and put me out of my misery. Marble Brewery, can you assure me I'm not gonna have to put up with the same ridiculousness? Either way, there's some good beers on tap and I'd recommend that 505-2013 while it lasts, plus The Abbey, the Stout Americano and The Double White. Rock solid beers to steal a quote from the Marble heads.

Five Star Burgers Sliders and Suds (Time 6 to 9PM)- I was just talking about burgers and fwakata! here's a burger and beer event. This could be good. La Cumbre Elevated IPA, Marble Stout and Wheat, and Monk's Wit (brewed up at the monastery by Abiquiu, for those that don't know, now you know, ninjas) paired with different sliders. According to the ABQ Beer Week site, it's three different burgers (green chile, greek, and Taos) and jalapeno caps and 5 ounce samples of the beers for $20. Pretty sweet deal actually. Only problem, I have no idea where this Five Star is---I hit B2B on Central for my burger and beer fix---so I'ma check the Yelp link here.

Yeah, so this is at Wyoming and Academy which is the sticks to me, but if you live up near the mountains, you may wanna check this.

Other than that, it's mostly just tastings around town:

Deschutes is doing a sampling at O'Niell's Nob Hill, which could be cool if they were bringing The Abyss , but chances are it's just gonna be the same shit you see around town any day of the week. Plus, I went about a month ago for a Rogue sampling and it was the most pinche samplings outside of a Total Wine store I'd ever seen.

Two Fools will be tapping Odell's Treeshaker Imperial Peach IPA, which sounds cool if not being the biggest gimmick in New Mexico since that other brewery started slapping "Isotopes" and "Alien" all over their beers to turn them into the Disney World of New Mexico craft beer. I'm all for adventurous beers, but are you just throwing some liquid peach flavoring in the mix or using real peaches? Cheap bastards.

Of course, Sunner is still on tap at Desert Fish, Gecko's still has the Lips of Faith taps, and Nob Hill Bar and Grill still has the Lips of Faith Smores Porter on tap, so if you need a beer, this ain't the prohibition era.

Finally, a reminder that the one event you don't wanna miss is the Blues and Brews Festival on Saturday to sample a ton of beers and hear---surprise, mothafuckas!!!---blues music. Also, if you Twitter and Instagram savvy, follow @albrewquerque to stay in the loop or like the Albrewquerque Facebook page.

Hasta la proxima, cabrones.

Albuquerque Beer Week Day 4

Back with more of that Albuquerque Beer Week smack. I survived yesterday despite hitting four different beer week events, one of which just as I prophesied, (that Total Wine bullshit) was complete and utter trash. When the people working the event aren't aware there's an event going on---"Uh, yeah, I think the beer event was yesterday"---then you know you fucked up. Total Wine is just trash, yo. Ohhhh, and to top it off, for BEER WEEK, these herbs gonna try to pass off some fake ass craft beer to customers. They had that bullshit Leinenkugel, and that bullshit Shiner Red Ruby or some shit, and then Batch-whatever-the-fuck-number-to-sound-like-craft, a Coors concoction that tries to pretend it's some brewing upstart. Read your labels, yo, like the Gza said.

As for today, there aren't the wealth of events like the first few days, which don't make no fucking sense to me cuz it's Sunday and it should be nothing but Beer Week events. Like they should really just shut the whole city down and order everybody to attend. Like this zoo visit I gotta do this afternoon, should be like a "Dogfish Head Takes Over the Bio Park" type deal. Instead, they got some bullshit NM Brewers Golf Tournament, which is just the worst shit I've ever heard. I don't golf, so that's part of it, but yo, that's a yuppified ass game to be linking with beer. And yes, I know mufuckas drink and smack they golf balls around, but that game is pretty removed from the regular type mufuckas that drink beer. What they needed to do was set up an MMA tournament and have those same fucks hitting golf balls beat the shit out of each other in a cage match. Or at least some tackle football or some shit, something where these pussies would've at least pulled a muscle and shit. So yeah, fuck that golf tournament.

Then there's the New Belgium Brewing Brunch at Nob Hill Bar and Grill (Time: 12 to 3 PM)- I read over at the abqbeerweek.com website that they gonna be making beermosas. The fuck? Take that pussy shit to a Lady Lobo game. That corrupting of what should be beer good enough to stand on its own has no business in Beer Week. But, I would swing by here to taste this Smores Porter that they supposedly got, a new New Belgium. But literally, I'd go in, order that shit, drink that shit with my head down not even making eye contact with any mufucka in this bar, pay for that shit, and duck out. No reason to spend more than 15-20 minutes at this event.

Pint for Pint at Tractor Brewing Company (Time: 12 to 5:30 PM)- I've already shared my feelings about Tractor in other posts (you can look that shit up yourself, I'm not hyperlinking my own link from yesterday) so they already on shaky ground for any event. But then they gonna mix blood and beer? They want me to give this beer-and-alcohol laced blood to some unfortunate soul? I'll pass, b. I'm tryna drink and dassit. But yo, I guess this some real feel good shit to make the brewers and the drinkers of the world feel like we ain't all just a bunch of drunks. Personally, I don't mind feeling like just a bunch of drunks.

Fun Run and Fundraiser at Bosque Brewing Co. (Time: 1PM)- Bosque hovering around Tractor levels as far as their beers go. I definitely wouldn't go outta my way for their beer or for this event. Look, I don't wanna give blood and drink beer and I don't wanna run and drink beer. I wanna watch sports, play table games, and be lazy and drink beer. Do a fundraiser where you commit to those things, like for every I watch TV and drink a beer, and I'll sign my name in blood.

Silly Saison at Two Fools (Time: 5:30PM)- Yeah, so I had to check to see if this was a beer or some stupid name they'd come up with for the event. It turns out its a stupid name for a beer they gon have over at Two Fools. Now, I've never had this beer before, but if the people over at Beer Advocate can be trusted (they can, mufuckas), then this beer is complete shit. So I'll pass.

Ultimately, THE SPOT YOU WANNA BE IS MARBLE BREWERY for their Bluegrass Extravaganza (Time: All goddamn day, which means like a 1PM start time)- Ain't no special beers here, but the music should be rocking, even if it's of that hillbilly variety (some of this shit dope though, really), and of course Marble will have some heat on tap. I mean, if you have or haven't tried the 505-2013, that's reason enough to go. So yeah, this is where you'll find me probably.